


Groomzilla

by rorywritesstuff



Category: Marvel 616, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Dinosaurs, M/M, Mind Control, Villains, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 11:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18893458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rorywritesstuff/pseuds/rorywritesstuff
Summary: Billy and Teddy's wedding episode.





	Groomzilla

“And what’s the best way to break mind-control? Teddy? Teddy.”  
Teddy shifted his gaze from the window back to his fiancé. “Hmm?”  
“How do you break mind-control?”  
“Smash it on the floor. How can you focus on this? We’re getting married tomorrow.”  
Billy smiled. “You know, it doesn’t have to be tomorrow. We could go another day.”  
“No, tomorrow feels right. There’s something about the date that just screams ‘weddings’ to me.”  
“Okay, whatever makes my man happy. But, seriously, Teddy, you need to focus; you never know when this stuff will come up.”

“All of you will tremble before the might of…GROOMZILLA!”  
Teddy didn’t even turn to see the source of the outcry but took a sip from his water bottle, “I hate people trying to push in front by causing a scene.”  
“I think it’s real,” Billy said.   
Teddy turned just as a man at the back of the room, unkempt, wearing a torn tuxedo and with wide, almost chameleonic eyes, pulled a gun from his jacket and fired twice in the air. A man screamed and half the room threw themselves to the floor. Instinctively, Teddy made a move towards the disturbance, but Billy grabbed his arm, “We don’t have our costumes.”  
“My skin is my costume.”  
“A) Gross; b) I don’t have my costume and we’re kind of a known pair.”  
“Where are Wiccan and Hulkling?” Groomzilla demanded, firing in the air again.   
“Very known, apparently.”  
“What makes you think Wiccan and Hulkling are here?” Billy asked.  
“I read on online that they were planning to get married today-”  
Billy and Teddy glanced at each other and immediately knew that Tommy had leaked the story.  
“-And so I decided to ruin their special day, just as they ruined my life by throwing me in jail, exactly six years ago!”  
“That’s why this day screamed ‘weddings’ to me,” Teddy said, “It’s cos we caught Groomzilla that day.”  
“I don’t remember this guy.”  
“He showed up at weddings and turned into a giant lizard or something. I think it’s because his fiancée…left him? Or something?”  
Billy called to the villain once more, “But how do you know they’re here? There are hundreds of court houses in the city.”  
“I picked the one that’s most convenient. I don’t really care who I hurt, as long as I ruin some weddings!”  
“It’s a real coincidence that he just happened to live near us,” Teddy observed, taking another sip from his water bottle.   
“If Wiccan and Hulkling don’t show themselves, I will be forced to violence. They have to the count of three… Oh, screw it, I can’t be bothered to wait!” He raised his hands in the air and spread his fingers wide.  
“Look, he’s about to transform. Maybe you can use the distraction to summon your costume?”  
But Billy wasn’t listening. He was grabbing at his stomach and wincing.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I…don’t think…he’s the one…who changes.”   
A bright green light engulfed everyone in the room except Teddy and Groomzilla. The lights spiralled up towards the ceiling and then vanished, revealing that where once stood humans now were huge dinosaurian beasts. They roared in unison and then fell silent.  
Groomzilla pointed his gun at Teddy, “Why didn’t you change?”  
“I’m…a mutant…whose power is not to change. Ever.”  
“That’s an awful power.”  
“Yeah, but I don’t have to shave.” Teddy looked at the formerly-human beasts, standing calmly, some of them with their heads pressed against the high ceiling. “Why aren’t they attacking?”  
“They will when I tell them to. I want to milk the moment first. Did you know that two of these monstrosities,” he gestured around the room, “are most likely Wiccan and Hulkling? Pretty neat, huh?”  
“And what will you tell the beasts to do, when you’re done showing off?”  
“Eat you, most likely. You look too happy to be getting married. I don’t like that.”  
Teddy thought he should try diplomacy first. “I read about you in the paper, I’m sorry that your fiancée left you-”  
“She didn’t leave. My power manifested on my wedding day; she was turned into a hideous monster, right there in the church.”  
“Well, I’m sorry that she was transformed into a mindless lizard-”  
“They’re not mindless. They can talk and act quite normally if I let them, except for the fact that they’re dinosaurs of course. No, they’re only monsters if I tell them to be.”  
“Then why are you angry?”  
“Because my fiancée became ugly! Can you imagine someone willingly marrying something green and scaly?”  
Teddy’s fist clenched.   
“But she is useful for something,” Groomzilla added and shoved his fingers in his mouth and whistled. A dinosaur, nearly twice the bulk of those already in the courtroom, burst through the wall. “She makes a great get-away vehicle.”  
“That’s a human being.”  
“No, it isn’t. It’s a dinosaur. Keep up.”  
“I can’t believe you’d do this.”  
“You sound just like her. So whiny. This is why I don’t let her free from the mind control.”  
An idea lit up at the back of Teddy’s brain, but he needed to get closer. He took a step forward. “You’ve never been able to change her back?”  
“I didn’t try too hard. I mean, she’s much more submissive like this.”  
Another step closer. “And you can change anyone?”  
“Except for you. Maybe I should marry you.” Groomzilla snickered. “Gross, right? I mean, can you believe they actually allow that? What is this country coming to?”  
And then Teddy was close enough. He pulled his water bottle from his pocket and splashed the contents in the villain’s face. For a second, he stood there, his mouth agape, and then he wiped the water from his eyes.  
“Okay, now you die. Bride-of-mine, kill him.”  
“No.” The voice was raspy and loud, but unmistakably human.   
Groomzilla turned to see his former intended leaning down, her eyes wide with anger. “You kept me like this for six years!”   
“But you’re my mindless slave.”  
Teddy turned to the dinosaur-Billy. “Water. Water breaks mind control.” He thought the dinosaur smiled at him.  
“You said you loved me!” Roared the bride-dinosaur.  
“I did! And then you got huge!”  
“Pig.” And with one quick move of the head, the bride-dinosaur picked him up with her teeth, threw him up in the air, and bit him in two, swallowing the head. Another succession of bright green lights and all the dinosaur-beasts, bride included, were back to being human.   
Teddy ran over to Billy who was buck naked and trying to preserve his modesty with his hands.   
“You did it! I’d hug you but…” He gestured towards his crotch with his eyes.  
“I’ve seen it before.”  
“Yes, but everyone else hasn’t. You did well, Teddy. Now, please, let’s go home.”  
“You want me to carry you, married-style?”  
“We’re not married yet.”  
“Oh well.” And he scooped Billy into his arms. “Would you still love me, even if I was green and scaly?”  
“What do you think, Teddy?”


End file.
